Smokescreens
by Davis Family Fan
Summary: Missing Scene: The morning after the Lake House explosion. One-Shot
1. Part I

_So, considering that we didn't have an aftermath conversation pertaining to the explosion, but we know that Alexis is going to confront Julian, I wrote a short ONE-SHOT of something I and many others would've liked to see rather than some of things that did air. _

**Smokescreens**

She woke up, but she did not wake up. She tried to convince herself that it was a dream... a nightmare, really... it had to be. If she kept her eyes closed for a moment longer, she was certain that she would wake up in her room, in her house, in the place in which she and her family had shared so many memories... both happy and sad. She would wake up and...

"Mom?"

She heard soft knocking on a door that was on the wrong side of the room. The sound came from the right, instead of the left. How ironic.

"Mom?" The knocking persisted. "Mom, are you awake?"

And while she wanted terribly to imagine that, like the many times her eldest daughter had come homefor the night, the woman was simply inquiring if she wanted her usual breakfast order from Kelly's, there was no use pretending any longer. She was not going to wake up from this nightmare. This was it. It was her reality. And although she so easily told her youngest daughter that their whole lives existed under the roof in which they currently stayed, the truth was that the sight of her home in rubbles, and the memories that flooded her mind, killed her.

"Mom, are you okay?" Sam asked when she finally decided to simply enter the bedroom. Her mother was an early riser; she never slept past seven in the morning. And with Danny, neither did she. "I just checked in on Molly; she's still asleep."

She felt the mattress shift slightly as Sam took a seat beside where she lied, and the gentle touch of the young woman's hand against her shoulder. She wanted to open her eyes and acknowledge her presence, but she could not. If she did, she would see him. Although, he often mentioned how much their daughter resembled her, in truth, he shared just as many similarities with her: the shapes of their faces, their noses, their slightly chubby cheeks, and the subtle dimples they had when they smiled. The things she had loved about this discovery, were the very same things that currently hurt to face.

"I really wish you'd talk to me," Sam sighed. "You know you don't have to be strong for me, right? I'm not Molly. I can handle it. And you-" she bit the inside of her cheek. "Mom, it's okay if you want to just... I don't know... let it... out."

And just like her father, this beautiful young woman they had created, had a calming effect. Before Julian had come into their lives, she had always attributed Sam's resiliency to that of a Cassadine inheritance. But in meeting him, truly getting to know him, she knew she was wrong.

"If I..." she slowly began. "If I open my eyes, honey-"

"What?" Sam pressed when her mother stopped short. Seeing the tears roll down her cheeks, she knew that the woman's pain was deeper than the idea their destroyed home. There was more to it than that. Behind those tears, there were suppressed emotions, memories, and... truth.

"If I open my eyes, it means that all of this is real," she sniffled. "And in the same breath, fake."

She understood exactly what her mother meant. The reality that had faced them as they looked on at their demolished home was that Julian had lied. This new life he had begun did not exist. "I'm so sorry," was all she could say in response. After all, what else could be said? "We're gonna get through this," she nodded. "I'm gonna help you get through this."

"You know what's funny?" Rolling onto her side, Alexis finally pulled herself from the overwhelming darkness of her thoughts so that she could find peace and solace in one of the lights in her life. "For as much as I would like to believe that your father isn't the cause of all of this, I'd be kidding myself if your sister's words hadn't resonated in my mind." She wiped her nose. "God, Sam, was I stupid to believe that he could get out of the mob so easily?"

Sam stared at her mother for a moment unsure of how to truly respond to her question. In one hand, she wanted to question the woman's sanity given that for over twenty years, this world had surrounded them; it was never that easy to get out of the business. But, on the other hand, she too believed that it could have been so simple for her father. So, maybe she too was stupid in believing it. Perhaps she was so desperate to have what was only in her dreams of her mother and father being together, that she allowed herself to become naive and gullible in the face of her father's lies.

"Don't say that," she whispered as she leaned forward to wipe a tear from her mother's grief-stricken face. "I believed him too, Mom. I wanted to believe that everything could be so simple, I did-"

"It never is, honey," Alexis sighed as she fell back onto her back. She stared at the ceiling. "Just when you think that everything is going perfectly, that the fates were allowing me some semblance of what could have been if your father and I had-" She stopped. Looking up at this beautiful life they had created, she would forever be grateful to Julian for his appearance - albeit brief - in her life for that one night brought her a daughter she did know how to live a life without. In spite of the years that they had been separated, none of that mattered. She no longer remembered how it felt to not be a mother of three beautiful girls. It could have all ended. "Life has a funny way of yanking the rug right from underneath you." She reached over and ran her hand over the younger woman's knee. "But I think I'm preaching to the choir here, hmm?"

Thinking of her happiest moments in marrying Jason, only to be - or thought to be - raped on their honeymoon, to finding out she was pregnant, only to learn that the baby was - or thought to be - Franco's, to giving birth, then losing - or thought to have lost - her baby, to then have Danny was returned to them, only to lose Jason the next day, then finally moving on from his death with Silas, only for Nina to return, she squeezed the bridge of her nose.

"You are," she finally replied. Knowing that the woman was not ready to begin her day, Sam settled herself comfortably beside her on the bed. She rested her head onto her shoulder and wrapped an arm across her waist. The past couple of years had been an emotional roller-coaster, but the most important part of it all was that they had survived. Leaning on one another, they made it through every single ounce of pain that had been injected into their lives. "I'm just... regardless of everything... I'm just... I'm so grateful that you're okay," she continued. "To think that what stood between losing all of you was just a couple of minutes-"

"And Danny's epic tantrum," Alexis jokingly commented as she ran her finger along her daughter's arm.

"Exactly," she nodded. "And to think that it could've been over so quickly, I want to just... God, I want to throttle Julian. But-" she sat up to look at the woman. "But Mom, I get it. He just wants everything that he's never really had and was desperate. I don't think he really meant to lie-"

"Sam, he told us that he left the mob, which clearly wasn't true considering that the house is completely destroyed!" Alexis countered as she slipped from the bed. "Honey, I'm dressed in one of Jason's t-shirts right now because the only clothes I now own are what I wore last night, and your sister and I are homeless. The house that I bought for you is gone. Honey, it was your home as much as it was ours."

"I know-"

"And rather than be honest and tell us that he was dragged back into it..." she stopped pacing the room. "Or maybe... maybe he never even left. I don't even know what to believe anymore." When the tears began to fill her eyes once again, she grabbed a tissue. "The mob.. business... whatever... has caused far more pain than it has any joy, and yet we just keep getting sucked into its orbit." She shook her head. The images of all that she had lost and nearly lost swirled in her mind. "When I saw the house, destroyed and ready to collapse, I was taken right back to that day almost twenty years ago when your aunt-"

"Kristina," Sam whispered from her seat. Her mother barely spoke of the young woman who had died in a similar explosion meant for Sonny; the pain of it all must have been too much to bear.

Alexis nodded. "Apart from your poor eating habits undoubtedly inherited from and aggravated by me, you two were so much alike," she sadly commented. "And she lost her life - one that was filled with so much potential - because of this crap. I mean, the only reason she was even there was because I was pregnant with your sister and she was there to tell Sonny... you know, the other mobster who managed to get me knocked up on the first try." She laughed ironically. "Then I get with said mobster's brother, and he manages to knock me up again... and now he's dead. I mean, was he even Julian's boss?" She threw her hands in the hair. "Because, if that were even remotely true, why would this happen? I mean, I thought that Ric being dead meant that Julian was free?"

Sam shrugged in response. She did not have an answer to give her mother for all of the questions that she had also posed to herself throughout her long sleepless night. Could her father have been the reason her sister was in this profound amount of pain? Could he and his lies have been the reason for all of this? Ric's death, Rafe's addictions and eventual death, and finally, the explosion that could have caused the worst tragedy she could not even have imagined experiencing? It was a lot to take in.

"What are you going to do?" She finally asked after her mother had finally retaken her seat on the bed. It had been some time since she had seen the woman looking so downtrodden. It broke her heart. "Are you going to break up with him?"

Alexis thought for a moment before responding. "Well, the first thing I'm going to do is shower, put on the clothes I wore yesterday because I'm fairly certain that nothing Jason owned would flatter me, and then take your sister shopping for a whole new wardrobe," she sarcastically replied. "Um... and then I suppose I'll wallow for a moment before going to this man that I love more than any other man I've ever been with and get the truth... or whatever version of it he'll give me. And if by some miracle he is telling me the truth, and he really had nothing to do with all of this, then I guess we'll... rebuild."


	2. Part II

**Many thanks to the few who reviewed the first part of what had been just a one-shot.**

**So, show of hands: who believes we'll get follow-up scenes pertaining Alexis continuing not to really cope with everything and having a discussion with Sam on the matter? Or of Julian continuing to try to make peace with these two ladies? Yea... that's what I thought. Here's to hoping we're proven wrong. In the meantime...**

**Minimally Edited... I copied and pasted it from the other site on which it was posted this morning. I hope it looks normal here.**

**II.**

Returning home after her trip to New York, Sam tiptoed into her apartment. She felt silly doing so as it was _her_ place, but there was something about once again living with her mother and returning home after a very illegal excursion. While she fled the scene of her crime, her mind raced with thoughts of how she would explain herself to the woman and the fact that this was not the first time she had broken into the clinic, but the second. The first time she had convincingly lied to her about the legalities of her attempts to getting Silas in to see his once comatose wife. She was not sure how easily even she, a former con and adept, albeit reformed, liar, would have gotten herself out of that pickle. Alas, despite her efforts to avoid the uncomfortable conversation where she would have to lie to a woman whose trust had already been devastatingly betrayed, there she sat on the couch... in the dark... with a bottle of wine.

"Mom?" Sam called out to her. Even without the light on, she could tell that the woman quietly cried. No words or explanations were necessary; her father had broken her mother's heart. "Oh gosh... I wish you would've called me."

When her daughter had immediately rushed to her side, Alexis shook her head as she shifted from the younger woman's reach. Comfort was not what she needed. It was not what she deserved. It was what she should have been giving - or should _not_ have _had_ to give - to her sixteen year old fatherless daughter. Her own heart would heal, but bringing Ric back from the dead? That would have taken an act of God alone to accomplish that feat and to mend her destroyed relationship with her youngest daughter.

"Hi Honey; how was New York?" Alexis nonchalantly asked as she wiped her tears with the crumpled tissue she held in her hand. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Knowing that the woman was not yet ready to speak about her evening and the conversation that had led to the nearly empty bottle of wine on the coffee table, Sam indulged her mother's question. "Um... it was... _fine_," she lied. "I mean... we didn't exactly find what we were hoping to find-" At her mother's questioning gaze, she quickly calculated the least deceitful way in which she could have explained how she had nearly needed the woman's legal services. She hated to lie to her mother, but she certainly did not want to get into an argument with her. "Let's just say that they weren't all that much cooperative..." she nonchalantly waved her hand in the air before grabbing her mother's empty glass. She filled it and quickly emptied it once more. "It was a waste of time. I should've just stayed here with you and Molly." She ran her hand over her mother's sleeve. "This is nice. Did you find a lot of things? Did Mol?"

At the mention of her youngest daughter, Alexis thought of reclaiming her glass, but instead took the bottle. Putting it to her lips, she chugged more of the wine. It was not like her. But none of this _seemed_ like her. And yet, it was. Her bad decisions in men had finally caught up with her.

"I'm sorry," she ran her hand against the woman's cheek. "It seemed like a wasted trip. I'm sure you would've like to spend the time with Danny... especially after..." She looked away. She could not avoid the subject any longer. The elephant that had patiently sat in the corner, had slowly made its way over to where they sat; it threatened to suffocate her. "Your father killed the man who blew up our house," she hiccuped. The wine was finally getting to her. "He did it."

Sam frowned. "But wait," she was not shocked by her mother's statement given how quickly the man had run off after he had ensured their safety, but that was not what she had read. "I thought Jordan Ash-"

Alexis spoke over her. "She covered for him," she replied. And when she allowed the realization of what she had just said sink in for her daughter, she sighed. "Yea."

"I really had hoped that we were wrong and jumping to conclusions," Sam admitted.

"You know what they say about hope, honey," Alexis shrugged. "It's for fools."

Sam watched the woman slowly rise and make her way toward the kitchen. She quickly followed her. "Mom," she grabbed her mother's arm and led her to a seat at the kitchen island. Grabbing a bottle of water, she slid it toward her. "Here, drink this," she said as she continued to rummage through her cabinets and drawers for plates and silverware. If her mother was going to avoid a hangover the next morning, she was going to need to eat something. The leftover Chinese food would do the trick. "I'm starving and you're going to thank me in the morning."

Alexis watched her daughter scoop food onto a plate before putting into the microwave. Neither of them said a word. The sound of the microwave filled the silence. The weight of the lies Julian had told hung heavily in the air.

"_Sh!t_," Sam mumbled to herself as she grabbed the hot plate from the microwave. "Please... please tell me that Ric-"

She could not bear to hear the man's name. She covered her face. "I don't... I don't even know," Alexis admitted. "I don't know what's real and what's fake. I don't know what was true, and wasn't-" She shook her head. Tears welled in her eyes once again. "He lied to me, Sam," she sniffled. "He lied every single day since... since... I don't... I don't even know when! So, I _have_ to believe that he lied about Ric too."

With her back to her mother, Sam jumped at sound of a crash. Her mother had thrown the plate onto the floor. "Oh, Mom," she quickly made her way around the island to comfort the woman. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay-"

"How, Sam?" She cried into her daughter's shoulder. "How is it going to be alright? Your sister's father is dead because of me."

"It's not your fault, Mom!" Sam stressed as she grabbed her mother's face. "You didn't do anything. And you certainly didn't cause Julian to-"

"I _believed_ him!" She cried. "I believed a man that I had known for two minutes over a man that I had known for nearly twenty years! He kept saying that he was innocent, Sam! He _begged_ me to believe him and I didn't. My God, I pegged him as guilty from the moment he came back to town!" She shrugged off Sam's comforting arms so that she could move to clean up _some_ of the mess she had created. "I very well could've put the idea into Julian's head to frame him in the first place!" Grabbing the garbage can from the cabinet underneath the sink, she began to pick up the broken pieces of the plate she had thrown. "Ric's blood is on my hands just as much as it's on Julian's."

"Ric didn't give you much to believe in, Mom!" Sam argued. "He was a liar-"

"That might have been true, but he was your sister's father," Alexis whispered. "And _she_ believed him."

"Of course she did! What else would you have expected for her to believe?" Sam countered. Her argument was weak; she knew it. But, she had to say anything that could hopefully relieve the weight of the guilt that had knocked her mother to the floor. She could not bear to see this side of her. Kneeling beside the woman and taking her hands into her own, she whispered gently, "hey, how could you have known who to believe? You could have believed Ric, and Julian might have been the one who ended up dead. And where would you have been then?"

"Well, I guess that says a lot about the men I've chosen to father my children, doesn't it?" She scoffed. "The first father plotted against the second father, and more than likely framed the third father. The second guy hates both the first and the third - who happens to be his brother, mind you. And the third-"

Sam spoke over her. "There's so many ways to spin this, Mom-"

Alexis shook her head. "There are, but right now, the only way it's been spun has left an innocent man dead," she sobbed. "I need... I need a moment, honey-" Standing up, she looked down at the mess she had made. "I'll clean this up later, okay? I'm... I'm sorry."

With that, sitting on her heels, Sam watched her mother escape from the room and make her way upstairs.

* * *

No sooner had her mother left the room had her phone begun to vibrate in her pocket. Reaching for it, she was not shocked when she read the name on the display: _Julian_. She struggled with whether or not she should take the call. Out of loyalty to her mother, she thought better of it; but from that same sense of loyalty, she knew that she needed to. She had to know... _why_.

"Julian," she simply stated. "After witnessing my mom's meltdown, I'm really struggling here on how I should begin this conversation with you because everything in me wants me to find you and kick your ass without any concern for the fact that you are not only my father, but also the man who saved my son's life. Right now, all I can think about is how you-"

"I know I broke you mother's heart, Sam," he conceded. What the woman had failed to realize was that he had broken his own in the process. He had never before felt for someone the love he felt for Alexis, his children, and his grandchildren. This was a first. And the thought that he might have lost them, not only permanently in the explosion, but now physically in that they would not want anything to do with him because of his lies, he felt broken. "I never meant to hurt her. I hope you know that."

She did.

"I love your mother... and I love you... and Danny," he continued when he did not receive an argument from her. "And I tried... I tried to get out of the business, but-"

She did not need much convincing on the matter. She had been involved in the world for far too long to be so naive as to think it would have been so simple for her father to leave it. It had been wishful thinking on _all_ of their parts. And because of it, it had blown up in their faces.

"Lucas," Sam whispered. "Was that... was that it? Was that your boss... pulling you back in?"

"Yes," he honestly replied. "I wasn't lying to you all at that dinner, Sam. I told my boss-"

"It wasn't Ric, was it," Sam asked. It was a rhetorical question; she already knew the answer. "Who's your _real_ boss, Julian?" When he hesitated to respond, she shook her head in annoyance. "We have a _right_ to know! You ruined my sister's life! _And_ my mom's relationship with her. How the hell do you expect them to get passed all of this?"

He wished he knew the answer to her questions. He wished he _could_ answer the questions she asked. He wished he could have fixed all of this. But, he could not. Unless he wanted to risk their lives any more than they already had been, he would not reveal any more information than he had.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he finally replied.

But that was not enough for her. "So I've heard," she facetiously answered. "It wasn't fair for you to drag my mother into all of this, Julian. You knew the world you were involved in. And you knew how dangerous your _mystery_ boss was. You should have _never_ done this to her-"

"I love her-"

"I _know_ you do," she admitted. "And God knows how much she loves you too, but sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go! And maybe that's something you should've done when you knew that your boss wouldn't let you leave. Why gamble with her life, Julian? With _all_ of our lives? _God_-"

He could not deny her correct she was. He had allowed the desire for a family to trump all thought and reason. And that was unforgivable. Luke had not lied to him. He had not misled him to believe that he was free. He had been truthful. In fact, the man had been far more truthful with him, than Julian had been with not only himself, but with his family. There was no bluff or inconspicuous tell. Luke had laid his cards on the table. And yet, Julian continued to play; he refused to fold.

"I don't know how I can make it up to you, Sam," he whispered in a voice filled with more regret than he had ever before felt. "I wish I could make this all right. _Can_ I make this up? At least to you?"

She was silent for a moment. Having witnessed what appeared to be the beginning of her mother's meltdown over the realization of what had happened, she wanted to say... _scream_... no. But, she could not. She had been there... in her father's position.

"With me?" She slowly began. "Let's just say that I know what you're going through right now, Julian. A really long time ago, I hurt my mother once and ironically involving Ric," she paused to let him read between the lines. "I don't even know which was worse, what I did or what you did. I guess it doesn't matter," she rambled as the blood rushed to her cheeks. The embarrassment of what she had done seemingly a lifetime ago quickly returned. "But the point is, she forgave me." She heard him release the breath he had been holding. "So, don't worry about me; just give me enough space to take care of her."

He nodded gratefully as though she could see him. He did not know what he would have done if she had also shunned him. He could not go back to the way he had been: lonely and isolated. His family meant the world to him. He just needed to win them back... _somehow_.

"What about your mother?" He risked the chance of asking her. "Do you think she'll ever forgive _me_?"

"Can you give my sister back her father?" She asked. "Because honestly, regardless of the house being gone, that's probably the _only_ thing you could do to... to... fix this..." she paused, "at least for right now."

With that, she disconnected the line. Her mother needed her.

* * *

"Mom," Sam softly knocked on the door before slowly opening it. Hearing the shower shut off, she placed the bottle of water, cup of tea, and toast she had brought for her mother down onto the nightstand. "Mom, I brought you something to eat and drink. There's also some ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet; you might want to take it before bed," she called out to her. "I don't want you to be sick in the morning."

Wrapped in the brand new robe she had purchased, Alexis stared in the bathroom mirror. She did not recognize herself. The woman before her was naive, gullible, and... _selfish_. The woman before her had allowed lust for a man she had known for only fifteen minutes before sleeping with him in the back seat of his car to cloud her judgment. She had allowed this man to cause a rift in her relationship with her daughter. She had snuck around with him for months _knowing_ what he did for a living and the dangers that came along with it. And wanting to continue this... this... _thing_... she allowed herself to believe the unbelievable: that his boss would have allowed him to just walk away from the life. She turned on the man she had at one point in her life vowed to love for the rest of her life. Now, he was dead, her home was in ruins, her youngest daughter hated her, and the man she loved and had seemingly chosen over them all was _still_ in the life that had caused all of this pain.

She covered her mouth as a sob escaped from her lips. How had everything gone so wrong? How in the world was she going to rebuild anything when the foundation on which her life was built had disintegrated into dust? Her daughter had lost more than a house filled with all of her childhood memories. She had lost her home... with her mother _and_ her father. How was anything going to be made right again?

"Mom," Sam had moved to the bathroom door when she heard the soft sobs coming from the other side. She wanted nothing more than to get her mother and sister through this, but she did not know how. Being there for them did not seem like enough. But what was? "Are you okay?" What a stupid question. "I'm not going to force you to talk to me or anything, I just need to know that you're okay," she called out to the woman once again. She could not leave until she heard her voice. "_Please_."

"I'm fine," she lied as she opened the door. She placed a kiss onto Sam's forehead as she moved past her. "I'm going to go clean up-"

"I already did, Mom," Sam replied as she followed the woman further into the room. "Um... I... I spoke to Julian." She bit the inside of her cheek. She immediately regretted her revelation; she was not sure if she should have told her mother about the conversation. "I'm sorry-"

Alexis sat on the bed. Running her fingers through her damp hair, she looked over to her nervous daughter; she was walking on eggshells around her. "For what?" She asked. "I'm sure you didn't kill anyone-"

Sam moved to sit beside her. "Neither did you, Mom!" She defended. "Look, I know you feel really guilty about all of this, but it really isn't any of your fault. You were fooled just like the rest of us," she continued. "And Julian, he really did try to get out. He just couldn't... and he should've been honest with you about that. He should've given you a choice because I'm sure that if he had, you would've chosen-"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you, honey," Alexis scoffed. "While I appreciate the vote of confidence in what I would've done if your father had been honest with me, I'm not so sure how true any of that is."

"You broke up with Shawn when you realized that he had become Sonny's new enforcer-"

Alexis cocked her head to the side as she thought about the comparison. While the situations were somewhat similar, they could not have been any more different. "Shawn isn't your father, Sam," she quietly replied. "I loved him and it hurt to break up with him, but what I felt for Shawn isn't near what I _feel_ for your father." She closed her eyes as the thoughts of what could have been filled her mind. "Julian has a hold on me that I have never before experienced. I... I have to believe that it existed from the moment that I saw him all of those years ago because why else would I have gone with him to his car? Except for the fact that you were created that night, I really would say that it was a _stupid_ mistake. But, fast forward thirty four years and here I am doing it all over again."

She moved from the bed to the safe she had brought back that afternoon from the lake house. The contents inside of it was all that remained of their home. She punched in the code and opened it.

"I took the hand of a man that had lied to me and let him lead me again down a road where I'd lose my daughter," she pointed to the opened vault. "And this is all that's left. Just a few keepsakes: locks of all three of my girls' hair, my mother's necklace, my Cassadine pendant, birth certificates... death certificates..."

"You're going to have to forgive yourself someday, Mom," Sam moved to her side. She squeezed her hand. "You didn't know. And you can't be to blame for something you didn't know regardless of what you should have thought, known, or whatever. You _have_ to stop beating yourself up for wanting to be happy." When the woman was about to respond, Sam promptly continued. "And don't tell me you were being happy at Molly's expense because you weren't. All of the evidence pointed to Ric's guilt. You didn't plant it there. You couldn't have known that it wasn't real-"

"Molly knew-"

"No, she didn't," Sam shook her head. "She _believed_ in her father because he was her father. That's it. And that belief was what she was betting on. You were looking at the facts, his character and his history. _Anyone_ would've looked at the evidence against him and believed it too! You weren't the only one, Mom!"

_Mommy._

Before Alexis could reply, Danny's tiny voice was heard over the baby monitor. She smiled at the sweet sound. She was grateful for the interruption. "Go, sweetheart," she gently pushed her daughter toward the door. "I'm... I'm going to go to bed."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sam asked. "I can come back-"

Alexis placed another kiss onto her daughter's forehead. "It's okay," she lied. "I'll be fine. Go take care of my grandbaby."

Well aware that her mother being fine was far from the truth, but knowing that there was nothing more to be said or done that night, Sam simply wrapped the woman into a tight hug. "I love you, Mom," she whispered. "You're going to get through this."

Without another word apart from expressing her complete love and gratitude for this younger woman, Alexis closed the door behind her. Ignoring the drink and food on the nightstand her daughter had brought for her, she quickly changed into her pajamas, turned off the lamp and rolled onto her back on the bed; whatever pain she would be in the next morning, she deserved it. It would only be a small fraction of what she had caused Ric and Molly. She lied in the dark knowing that sleep would never come... not that night. Only the memories and regrets would play and replay in her mind; there could be no peace that would allow her to drift off into a place of slumber. And while she lied there attempting to figure out how, by some miracle, they could get passed this, from the corner of her eye she noticed a flashing light. It was her phone.

_I know this won't change anything at this point, but I'm sorry. I will fix this. I love you. Julian._

* * *

**P.S. There is neither guarantee nor promise of this continuing any further.**


End file.
